What I thought was a plunge down into the pit, turned out to be a pot-hole! A small bump in the road. It did not defeat me or keep me down...this time...and for that I am extremely grateful.
I spent most of yesterday in my room. Painting. Now, instead of the stark whitish walls, we have color! It's a cozy love den! Now, I can hardly move my arm...my shoulder is tingly and my almost 3 year old had to open my Pepsi this morning. (Kidding...I did suffer through opening the Pepsi bottle.) I feel like I have accomplished something. I don't know what others will think, but I love it. I did a faux finish on the walls. I will post a pic when I get everything back on the walls. There is still a little touch up to do, but I am pleased overall.
I also painted Jacob's crib. I love that, too. It was a white metal (remember...he was a foster baby so everything we had for him was temporary...) and I painted it an oil rubbed bronze color (which matches everything in our house.) Our bedroom is decorated in Americana...I care not if it is not "in style" because I love it. I have tried other color combos, but have never been satisfied. Oh...the point...I am making a baby quilt for our next baby that coordinates with my room. I figured if we are going to have a baby in our room, I wanted it all to match and look nice. I made our curtains, so the fabric for the quilt has that pattern plus a few other that coordinate. I am excited. This time of year always puts me in the mood to create. Also...I know that most people decorate a "nursery" when planning on a baby...and we did for the first few...but with this many kids, our babies get a decorated "corner". :)
Thank you so much for your prayers. I just wanted you all to know that I am okay. I am so blessed by the family of God.
2 weeks ago
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I am so glad to hear that it was a bump rather than a great big hole, but either way, I am here and will continue to pray you right up out of those "moments". If you are like me, it is hard to let go of those icky moments and trade them for comfortable moments, because it feels like I am leaving my babies behind when I do.... I am slowly learning that its okay to have those "moments" as long as I don't get stuck there for too long because our babies are really in front of us, not waiting behind in those "pits".
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are finding fun projects to do! Since Lucy's death 6 months ago, we have redone the living room, kitchen, and both Ty and Ella's rooms! I still am having a hard time getting started on the new baby space, it just seems wrong to me still...
Hugs,
Kim
You don't know me, I saw your title to your blog on Molly's page and thought what a sweet title, so I checked you out a couple of nights ago when my mom was dying. I read your entries on your grief, and although you don't know me from Job, God does. He knew I needed to hear your words, your quotes and your insight and your sharings have meant more to me than anything. My mom went to be with Jesus yesterday morning and your words have comforted me and lead me in the right direction. When you talk about your pothole, it encourages me because I could so being in the pit and never get out, my mom was everything to me but I have such a peace knowing she is in heaven. I know that losing a child and losing a parent isn't the same degree of pain, but the grief is still the same and I wanted to thank you for your words and that they have comforted me and continue to and I asked my mom to find Jacob and hold him and give him a big hug. God bless!
ReplyDeleteAllison Stephens
Oh, I am crying just reading Allison's comment! She is so dear to our family and I am so touched she found you! What a blessing you have been to so many! I am glad you painted, what a great idea. Still praying for you!
ReplyDeleteI NEED A PICTURE!!! I want color in my house...want to come paint with me? It's a girl's day with chocolate. HAAAAAAAAAA
ReplyDeletePost pics when you can and I want to see Jacob's crib.
Marlo saw your blog the other day and saw Jacob's picture and she said "He is my friend...he loves me". PRECIOUS!!!!!