It is finally here and in place:
I have decorated my house...many times...perused designing magazines, websites, and walked through more Open Houses than I can count, but never did I imagine planning or designing the grave marker for one of my children.
I gave Jacob's information and the Bible verse I wanted and the rest was done for me. I could not have chosen better myself...nor did I want to. Some people are very much about the details of a funeral/grave. I really never cared. I remember saying to our funeral director, more than once, "What would you do?" I am grateful for him. I have never cared about graveside etiquette, as I don't make a habit of visiting them.
Lest you be offended, it doesn't bother me if that kind of thing is important to you. It really doesn't, but my memories of Jacob are NOT at his graveside. As a matter of fact, I can't remember ANYTHING good about that dirt covered coffin in the ground. My baby is not there. When I think about that place, his graveside, my mind fills with sadness. There was no happiness there the day we buried him. People were crying. Who wants to dwell on that?
Eighteen months later, some days at least, I would rather remember Jacob climbing on the furniture...here in our home. Or watching the pictures of him play across my computer. Or listen to my kids talk about the memories they have of him. Other days, I try not to think about it at all. Because that's how I roll...whether it's good for me or not!
So I just wanted to share, eighteen months later...
Oh...I almost forgot! The verse was one that God gave me when we were praying about doing foster care. It was also the verse on Jacob's funeral program (chosen by I don't know who) so we thought it would be very appropriate for his marker.
"Jesus said, 'Let the little children come unto me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.'" Matthew 19:14
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I Love that verse. And Jacobs marker is beautiful, no I can't ever imagine having to make these kind of arrangments for my child and if I ever did I presume I would be much like you. Thank you for sharing! And thank you for the comment on the last poat of mine it meant a lot.
ReplyDeleteHe's still so preciously beautiful! Bless your heart! May it continue to heal well.. and be an everlasting vessel that gives glory to God. You're faith is inspiring and encouraging to many in need!
ReplyDeleteTracy, thanks for sharing that... Jacobs picture on your side bar is just precious. You encourage me through watching you persevere through all you have been through. Praying for you Tracy.
ReplyDeleteSara
I have chills. The Lord is so good. I cannot imagine the pain you have experienced. Do I know loss? Yes. But not of that proportion. Man. You are so right about your memories not being at the graveside. I loved that. I just had to say hello. Thank you for inspiring my day.
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