Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Wordless Wednesday....mostly...

I know I missed a week, but I was sick in bed last Wednesday due to lack of sleep.  (If I don't sleep, I puke...just the way God made me.  And because I would rather do ANYTHING than puke, sleep is a really big deal for me.)  And because I am anal, I just didn't think posting "Wordless Wednesday" on Thursday would work.  Plus, I hadn't taken any pictures worth posting.  So, here we go...

Emma fell asleep on sweet!
Emma getting really messy with dinner...
Bible Study time...Bryce was reading as Mom is teaching baby's about "blanket time"

This past week marked two years since Jacob died.  I have lots rattling around in my head in regards to this, but it will have to wait a couple of days.  For now, remembering Jacob Levi....

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Happy Birthday, Emma Claire!!

A year ago today, I walked into labor and delivery and a very kind nurse handed me this amazing 6 lb, 5 oz miracle baby:

Today, Emma Claire is one year old.  Wow.  A LOT can happen in a year!

Now, if you have been following me or know much about us, you know that our plan to bring Emma home from that hospital did not happen. 

But God is faithful.  We also know that Emma Claire DID come home to us, 7 1/2 months later, despite plans formed against us, to God be the Glory!

But you know what?  If Emma was not here with us, our forever child, God is still faithful.  Did you hear me??  Yes, we had what you might call a "fairy tale ending", but what if it hadn't turned out this way?  And for 7 1/2 months, I had no idea it would turn out like it did, but I did know that my God would be faithful.

My family has endured a lot of heartache in the past couple of years.  But we have also experienced immense joy.  It kind of reminds me of the Cross.  God allowed His Son to go through was terrifying...the pain, the agony for BOTH of them, not only Jesus, but His own Father who had to allow it all to happen.  But what joy there was on the third day when He rose again and with that brought the promise of salvation!  Sorrow and joy, sorrow and joy.  It's almost like you can't have one without the other.  And yet, God is faithful. 

In my "perfect" description of my life, I would have nine children here...Jacob would be a 4 year old big brother now, causing all sorts of trouble with his 4 year old cohort, Josiah.  "X" and Emma would be learning all of their tricks.  We wouldn't know sorrow like we know it now.  I would probably not be sitting here at noon in my pj's typing on a blog when I should be getting ready to leave my house!  But God is faithful.

I've said this before, that I cannot share all the miracles that are taking place with "X" right now, but did you know that if Emma had come home from the hospital when TRACY thought she should, "X" would not be a part of our family.  It's easy to trust when you can look back and see the full picture of  what God was doing, but not as easy when you are in the middle of it.  "X" happens to be a miracle, also and I know I keep teasing you with the story, but I promise to share when I can!  What joy I would have missed in "X" had the story gone the way I wanted it to. 

A couple of weeks ago, my 9 year old Noah said to me, "Mom, when Jacob died, God took one of our blessings, but then He gave us two more blessings!"  Indeed He did. 

I woke up this morning with this song running through my head, it's one we sang back in my "ensemble" days, back before I probably knew just how faithful God is to me.

In my moments of fear

Through every pain every tear

There's a God whose been faithful to me

When my strength was all gone

When my heart had no song still in love

He's proved faithful to me

Every word he's promised, is true

What I thought was impossible

I see my God do


He's been faithful, faithful to me

Looking back his love and mercy I see

In my heart I have questioned even failed to believe

When my heart looked away

The many times I could not pray

Still my God, He was faithful to me

The days I spent so selfishly reaching out for what pleased me

Even then God was faithful to me

Ev'ry time I come back to him

He is waiting with open arms and I see once again

Every night, I rock Emma Claire to sleep.  I look at her as she stares at me with her big, dark, brown eyes and am still in awe of our journey.  Sometimes she looks at me with the same awe I look at her with.  I pray that her story, our story of God's faithfulness, will be something that others will see and know that God did this!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Wordless Wednesday...

Emma Claire
Josiah posing
Two moms, 11 swimming children, 4 babies
Justin showing off his "moves"
Serious dork...
Not sure what the prayer was about!
More sweet moves by Justin
Emma and her bff...her thumb!
"It wasn't me, mom!"