I haven't been posting as much as I would like to. I haven't been sleeping, so by the time I am alone for the day where I could post, I am just too tired. Plus, all my "good stuff" comes to me while I'm driving or at the grocery store! Maybe I should have one of my slaves start taking notes for me.
So, for those of you who have read ANY of my blog, you know that I despise DHS. Right? And with good reason...right? I mean, seriously...who tells someone who just lost their child to a tragic accident that it was because there were too many children in the home? Who does that??? And then in the same breath tell you that the whole time that said child was alive, DHS was losing money because we had "one too many children". I told them many times that I didn't want their money...but they won't place a child with you unless they can control you and how do you control someone??? With money. How convenient.
With that being said, I have felt like God was leading us to adopt again. Not through a private adoption, but through DHS! WHAT??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? "God, You of all beings know what these people did to our family. Yes, I know we got three wonderful blessings from all the drama, but seriously??? Again????? UGH!!!!"
Have you ever fought God on something?? I know we all have, but this was one of those stomping my feet "I'm not doing this" kind of fights! I had all the paperwork that needed to be filled out laying on my chair. I just kept ignoring it. And then I got this verse in my Bible study...
"But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don't be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at bringing others to Christ. Complete the ministry God has given you." 2 Timothy 4:5
Complete the ministry God has given you....DHS was/is our ministry. I threw my hands up in the air as any good, obedient Christian would do, and said, "FINE, GOD...I'll do it!" (Well, after a few more words with the Master!)
So, we turned in our paperwork about a month ago. This means we will probably not be adopting a newborn, and maybe not even a girl. But God has been working with me on this area, too. I asked God 4 years ago to enlarge my family...give me babies. He did. He even gave me a tiny chocolate baby girl named "Emma Claire"...even if only for 5 days...I had her. The name on her birth certificate is "Emma Claire".
So, we are waiting again. There are a couple of situations that have been presented to us, but we are waiting for God to intervene. Please be in prayer that we will not step in front of God. And when I say "we", I mean "me"! I know God's plan is so much better than mine. And I gave my plan up to Him recently and am allowing Him to do what HE has planned for our family. I know...big of me!
Today I am thankful. Last year I was not so much. Last year at Thanksgiving, I was still in shock. But 15 months later, I can say that God has been faithful to our family. He has been faithful to me. While I still long for Heaven and those skinny chocolate arms around my neck, I am thankful today that I still have the rest of my family and that God's purpose for me is not over. There is much to be done.
"For the Lord does not abandon anyone forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion according to the greatness of his unfailing love."
"But I called on your name, Lord, from deep within the well, and you heard me! You listened to my pleading; you heard my weeping! Yes, you came at my despairing cry and told me, Do not fear!"
Have a blessed Thanksgiving!
10 hours ago