Remember that time when I wrote about this? Well, I still have this can of formula sitting on my tv stand in my bedroom as a constant reminder of God and His promises.
A year ago this week, I posted this picture:
We found out on June 13, 2009, that we were indeed going to be adopting a baby girl! God was granting me the desires of my heart. Now, if you have been reading this blog very long, you already know that we did not end up adopting this baby at birth, as was planned.
Today, June 13, 2010, we had this same baby, Emma Claire, dedicated at our church. God's plans CANNOT be thwarted. Even when everything around us looks as though it's going in a different direction than what we thought should happen, even then, God's plans CANNOT be thwarted.
I cannot put into words the feelings that I have toward this baby that God has given to us. I am not sure how it is when you finalize a private adoption, but when you finalize an adoption after having the child in your home as a foster placement, the relief, the joy, the connections, they don't just happen as you walk out of the courtroom. There is this wall that you put up...maybe a better explanation would be a wall of layers. With a foster child, the goal is reunification. A child can be in your home for 3-4 years with a goal of reunification. That's a long time. That's a LOT of layers on your wall.
I remember after Jacob's adoption was finalized, I thought all those walls had been torn down. After all, we had known for 10 months that we would be adopting him. His case was easy, nobody contesting anything, no worries. But not until the Judge signed the papers did that final wall come down. It was a wall I didn't even know existed. He was all ours.
That's what I am starting to feel with Emma. She is ALL ours. It's done. The walls have come down. I can now let myself love her completely.
"You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to know!" Psalm 139:5-6