Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The prayer never prayed...

A few days ago, my mother asked me a question.  It always makes me a little nervous when she says, "I want to ask you a question, but I don't want you to get mad."  WHAT??  She does this to me occasionally...fortunately, I don't get mad easily.

She said something like, "You talk about Jacob and Emma being answers to prayer, but how do you feel about Samara and Josiah?"

Here's my answer:  First of all, I talk about Jacob.  This blog started to keep our friends and family up to date in regards to his death, the investigation, etc.  Then it took a turn to Emma. 

Jacob was NOT an answer to prayer.  Neither were Samara and Josiah or "X".  See, I prayed about what direction we were supposed to go before we started doing foster care, but Emma was the only PROMISE I asked for and was given.  We had not planned on adopting...not that we weren't open to the idea, but that wasn't OUR plan when going into foster care.  In all of my own infinite wisdom, I figured that I would probably get pregnant with a baby girl and that is how He would give us our Emma that was promised. 

So, how do I feel about Samara and Josiah, and Jacob and "X" when it comes to God, promises, and answered prayers??

I believe that God answered a prayer that I never knew to pray with these 4 children.  Each one of them has brought his/her own blessings with them.  Each one of them has grown us in different ways and filled needs within our family that ONLY God could have known were there. 

Do I feel more for one of these children than the others??  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!  Each one of my adopted children has come with their own amazing story.  What has happened, is God has used Emma's story in a mighty way...it just so happened that I was able to share the story and you were able to watch it unfold.  But I don't love her more, or feel like God did "better" with this one than He did with my others.  Samara and Josiah have been touched by God in the same amazing way that Jacob and Emma were/are.  And when I am able to share the story of "X" and how it has been miraculously intertwined with Emma and her story, you will be amazed at how our God works.

I believe that God has brought me to a place that I can share more about the rest of our family and our lives.  Jacob and his death is no longer on the forefront of my mind, guiding every minute of my day.  Emma and the unknown with regards to her are no longer an issue.  We are finally able to move on with our lives so to speak.  We are at a calm, peaceful time of rest within our family.  But I believe that there are those of you following this blog that can benefit from some of the experiences we have had.

So, Emma was the promise fulfilled, Jacob, Samara, Josiah, and "X" are the answers to my prayers never spoken. 

"And now, O Lord, do as you have promised concerning me and my family.  May it be a promise that will last forever.  And may your name be established and honored forever so that all the world will say, 'The Lord Almighty is God over Israel!'"  1 Chronicles 17:23-24

1 comment:

  1. Ok well we did'nt start off foster with intent to adopt either funny I just wanted to help babies whew had no idea what God had planned for me and still do not just trying to be faithfull with what he has gave me a love for babies and we will see. I Love your blog it has taught me so much and I'm still amazed at how God works through us for each of us!