Wednesday, July 20, 2011

This Mother's Day....

I feel extremely blessed.  For the first time in 6 years, our family is still.  Let me explain.

In the Summer of 2005, Patrick and I started praying about our family and foster care.  By the Spring of 2006, we had our first placement.  Since then, we have had 3 placements that did not stay with us and 5 placements that we have adopted.  We lost a child to a piece of furniture.  We have been scrutinized, judged, lied about, treated with such utter disrespect by hospital staff, law enforcement, and DHS that I cannot even think about it...I try NOT to think about it.  We have had failed adoption placements.  We have dealt with the effects that drugs have on an infant and how those effects have followed these children into their childhoods.  We have dealt with/are dealing with Reactive Attachement Disorder, Fetal Alcohol Effects, Sensory Disorders, Auditory Processing Disorders,    I have gone to bed SO many nights asking God what He was doing with our family.  Would we be keeping the children He placed in our home or should I prepare them to move?  You promised us Emma, how do I get to her??  We have our Emma...wait, no, she's gone.  Wait!  She's back!!  Aaron?  Where did you come from??  You weren't in the plan AT. ALL. 

But here we are, in May of 2011, our family complete.  We have our health, we have our home, we have jobs, we have family and friends.  This mother's day, while I will never forget or stop missing the child I lost for a little while, I am at peace.  Total peace.  God has given us this time to rest in Him.  I have no idea how long this time will last, probably not long considering I have a daughter who will start driving in October and that almost ALWAYS leads to graduation, marriage, grandchildren, etc!!  So, again, I will enjoy the peace while I have it!!

Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago."  

God...I'm ready to do the good things You planned for me long ago!

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