"So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up." Galatians 6:9
This passage keeps finding it's way into my Bible, my computer, my EVERYTHING! And I am REALLY tired!
"E" is doing really good...for an addict who lives on the street. She is very good at what she does, and that is to manipulate. And since she is carrying MY Emma Claire, I am a very good target. I have figured her out though, thanks to my many dealings with drug addict bio parents. (THANKS, DHS!!) We had a come to Jesus meeting today that in my own head played out more like Smackdown with the white chic from the suburbs winning! (Thanks for the visual, Amanda!) I think I have been enabling her a little. I have been looking at her as this poor soul with a mental illness who cannot help herself. When the true issue at hand is her drug addiction. Drugs make her a different person, and it has nothing to do with her illness. She has assured me that she is a Christian. She nailed down where and when her decision was made, and we talked in depth. She also informed me that she is "backslidden"...her words. We talked about the benefits of turning her life around, but the drugs have a hold on her that won't allow her to turn away. Please continue to pray for her. As much as I want to beat her down sometimes (especially today), I want more than anything for her to turn her life around...what a story THAT would be to tell Emma one day!
I just have to remember that not getting tired of doing good, does NOT mean it's okay to be taken advantage of. And with that, comes the whole faith thing God has been teaching me on a daily basis. You'd think I'd be better at it by now.
Now onto the fun stuff. We had a doctor's appointment today. "E's" blood pressure, diabetes, etc was all good today. She even told the doctor that she had done marijuana and got drunk last night. (As if coming clean makes it all better.) The crappy ER ultrasound machine has "E" with a due date of August 30. (This is because Emma is big now and "E" keeps changing dates.) So, we are scheduled for induction on August 24. I asked the doctor if she thought we would make it to that date considering the lifestyle "E" is living and she said "Absolutely not." So, we have no idea when this baby is coming, but I would ask that you all would continue (because I know you already are) praying for Emma's protection in a womb that is being bombarded. We go back in two weeks, with an ultrasound in 4 weeks.
Enough of that. Today was a hard day with "E" and I am weary. But, God's promises cannot fail. I will keep doing good, no matter what choices "E" makes, and God will bless me accordingly.
Having said that, something ELSE exciting is happening. For the past 2 years, I have done very little in my church. That doesn't mean I haven't been serving God, just not in the church. For the year before Jacob died, I was unable to leave Josiah in class at church due to his Reactive Attachment Disorder. Then you all know why I haven't served in the past year. But, recently, I had begun praying that God would show me if, when, and where He would have me serve in our church. A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine at church asked me if I would be interested in teaching with her. She is starting a class for a group of ladies who are currently in rehab and who have recently accepted Christ. We will be teaching a new Christian type of class. Did you get that??? RECOVERING DRUG ADDICTS...and ME! Don't you for a minute think that God has not used DHS and my kids (and even "E") to prepare my heart for this new ministry. As I was praying for a place to serve, the thought crossed my mind more than once that when Emma comes, our time serving drug babies would be finished, and I am at peace with that. But I also know that when God closes one door, He opens another. And what is funny to me is how He prepares us along the way without us even being aware of it! And that is probably a good thing because had you told me 3-4 years ago that this is the path I would be walking, I would have laughed at you! Isn't God good??
4th of July did not turn out as planned. We had a minor injury, but it was one of those things that COULD have been major! Justin is fine, but he is really hoping for a scar. Boys are weird. We also got rained out of watching fireworks from the boat on the Oklahoma River. It's okay though...I was tired from doing inventory of our 3 freezers and 2 pantries! For those of you who only know me through this blog, I was once a highly organized (anal) person. I feel like I am finally becoming myself again and this would be proof! I can't tell you how easy making my 2 week menu from an inventory was! I chose foods I had and easily made a list of what I needed. And what is scary is how exciting all of this was to me! As my friend Shadawn tells me, I probably DO need therapy!
Here is the best picture I could get from uncooperative children for the 4th of July but as punishment to them, I promised to post it on my blog! Enjoy and I really don't care that all of your children sat perfectly still with perfect smiles and perfect attitudes. (And if you happened to be in my neighborhood you did NOT hear me yelling at my children in the front yard that I was going to beat the everloving snot out of them if they did not look at me, open their eyes and SMILE!!!)
Hope you had a great 4th! We will try again next year!